The new accessory

At the bakery

young women with ironed hair, long boots and semi-tone orange faces wear babies casually

These new accessories are slung with careful carelessness on hips and shoulders

It has started raining outside so they are all trying to fit their 3-wheeler, plastic covered accessory holders into the bakery

It is hip to be mum

And so the human race carries on.

Vale Jenny

Jenny always said hello

she used 'dear' and 'gorgeous' with aplomb, making them desirable things to be

She was bright and beautiful

and sharp and stylish

and unfussy

She loved words, stories, pictures and art

(and could not believe that we went to see Australia - what? oh it sounds AWFUL)

Jenny always offered champagne

She did not want

a funeral

or singing

or a celebration of her life

Jenny always believed that dead was dead

And was a sparkling role model of

how to live.

On those days

When you have dry eyes

and your muscles quiver at the weight of your flesh

the creatures are circling in your stomach trying to get out

And you’re not sure why

It’s just Monday

or April

coffee

or the washing up

A phone call from your mother

unfinished business with your boss

the lingering doubt of a comment you made

a battle lost

or a talk you have to have

The anniversary of a death, or a birth, a beginning or an end

Unpaid bills

or peeling window sills that will cost $5,000 each to repair

a party of pregnant friends when you’re not even having sex

shoes that don’t quite fit

an empty fridge

soft tummy fat that no amount of crunches will diminish

Family fighting

fluorescent lighting

the things that creep you and wrap you and grip you at three in the morning when you’re alone in your bed

the wired insomniac energy that drives you through the morning and collapses you at ten past three into fatigue beyond repair

When you first realise you are afraid of dying

The void

The terror that you will get there and not know what to do

On those days ...

Flush the crawling nausea in your chest and neck with warm tea

allow to settle

eat a little something salty

or a little something sweet

sit calmly in an upright position and

Brush

the inside of your left arm

softly

with your right fingers

Again

Once more

There.