this is how it is today
today it is okay
hot feet on the treadmill a soundtrack of piano accordian played in the subway
I moved along the moving walkway feeling life in slow motion like I was starring in the final montage of my life: the bit where lessons have been learned and it all comes together and I accept myself with all of the errors and rejections and mistakes and feel a sense of peace
In the garden white dust came to rest on shoes and daub sitting marks on the bums of jeans
there were hundreds of people maybe thousands but it did not make me anxious. Today was a day when that many people in one place made me glad.
This is how it is today.
One definition of love
love
-verb
to clean the toilet in under 5 minutes on a Saturday afternoon when it may not even be your turn, in order that your partner may vomit into a pristine bowl after a bad case of food poisoning, and to then go to the shops and buy chicken noodle soup and lemonade and let her watch whatever she wants on the television for the whole night.
Rescue remedy
my friend called
to rescue me from Thursday morning
we found adventure in the brown swell
of the Yarra
down the muddy embankment
to Laughing River
she and her son
two red-hooded figures
misty rain
jonquils white and surprising
in all that green
Dog day afternoon
So it is nearly 3 weeks since the dog ran me over in the park and I fell on my head and today really is the day I should be out there again and running.
But the canines are still out there ... plotting the demise of my fitness routine.
And you know, it is very cold in Melbourne this time of year.
And the dishes need doing.
Maybe a walk.
Yes.
Why I like grapes
When a friend is visiting and there is a bowl of grapes on the kitchen table they will feel comfortable reaching in and taking a few to munch on.
They don’t need to ask and no comment needs to be made.
This leads to a sense of accidental hospitality and shared enjoyment.
I don’t think the same can be said for any other fruit.
Consequences
The double seat stroller
stands outside a milk bar
one seat is intact
the other has been completely
ripped away
what did one sibling
do to another
to deserve such an obliterating fate?
Easter weekend
family gathers at my house
one niece and three nephews I take a photograph
of them on the couch
transfixed by Shrek 2
in their faces and gestures are the teenagers and adults
they will become
they will not remember this day
the way we played with the soccer ball in the back yard
the soft autumn air
and how our shadows stretched gentle on the ground
A time for napping
On Monday I start a 10 week running regime that my friend Jo sends me. By the end of week 10 I will be able to run for 30 minutes without stopping.
On Wednesday I am feeling great. My second walk/run and I am already building up longer running times. I will be fit and lean. I will bounce with energy.
On Thursday I have an argument with my boyfriend. Then I accidentally slam a door onto my left foot. Toes are strange and still for a while and then come up blue and bruised and twisted.
I accept this is my body's way of telling me that late afternoons in Autumn are for napping, not for running.
Heat
At the library
a man with
a gaunt face
and stringy black hair
is approached
by a polite
Indian fellow
blue checked shirt
tucked into jeans
The first man is
sitting at the computer
terminal that the second
man has booked
Outside it is day two
of a Melbourne summer
heat wave
fast approaching
forty degrees
Many of us have chosen
the library as shelter
from the angry elements
The gaunt man
is not going to move
his face closed and hostile
someone took the computer
where he was going to sit
A third man
also Indian
a busy staff member
young and funky in
a Jackson Five t-shirt
diffuses the heat
finds another terminal
for the polite
waiting
fellow
In the foyer of the library
a stack of local newspapers
show images of the
memorial service
for a local Indian student
recently murdered
No-one in the article
can be sure that the
attack was racially
motivated
The melting pot
of Melbourne’s west
always simmers
and can rise to the boil
with violent surprise
But today
in this place of respite
things
are
cool
Three little words
That ease the trauma of a jaw aching, bloody mouthed clean and polish at the dentist ...
He doesn't have to say them, sometimes they just grunt and ask how often you floss.
But today, he must be able to sense the extra level of stamina it took to stay sitting in that chair.
He shakes my hand and as we part, he smiles and says:
'Well done today'
Then and Now
Then:
A letter from my boyfriend, penned at 3.00 am
telling me he loves me
to assuage my insecurities
Laying his heart open
Promising to be with me
Now:
A post it note
on the kitchen bench
penned by me
telling my partner's daughter
that there is risotto in the fridge
for her lunch