This is for ordinary people
This is for ordinary people (and we won’t be telling you that you’re extraordinary just for being you).
You won’t recognise us from the television.
We are not prodigiously talented.
My body did not spring back into shape.
You won’t be surprised by my down to earth nature, make-up free face or wry sense of humour.
I didn’t overcome the odds.
I’m not an example of where hard work and determination will get you.
I say never.
A lot.
I don’t live a simple but fulfilling life.
I didn’t write this in a café.
It didn’t come to me in a dream.
All kinds of things that I expected would happen in my life have not happened.
I forgot to buy peppermint tea.
I want to believe in someone other than myself.
The floor needs vacuuming.
If I had a choice I’d rather live with someone else too.
If you watch long enough you may see them.
They wear sunglasses and smiles and walk in slow motion down busy streets.
They are scared to be alone.
They wear careful make up and studied eye-liner, the right shaped underwear and designer clothes.
This is not for them.
It is for you.
The affection of children
Do not come to rely on the affection of children
It is easily given
Seductive
and gratifying as that first mouthful of iced water after a long, dry bus ride on a scorching afternoon
But it is unsafe to expect it
unfair to demand it
and unreasonable to think it can withstand the batterings of growth, ego and burgeoning identity
Pretty soon you will be - as all adults invariably become - a strange and pale being about whom they rarely think and if so, only to briefly compare themselves with and vow never to be so ...
boring
dull
flat
soft
Unless of course you are their parent
In which case the glass of water may turn out to be a poisoned chalice
that you gulp,
hoping for quenched thirst
but finding
bitter drops
that
get
caught
in
your
throat.
Susan the Obscure
Not weird enough
This week's entry is the first of a special new series by guest contributor: Susan the Obscure. Thanks Susan! We look forward to enjoying your words of wisdom.
I've noticed a trend
I hope the trend ends
For young women to claim
on the comedy stage
that they are 'odd', 'weird' and 'strange'
It's apparently all the rage
But take heed young gals
you've got too many pals
and stories about dances and parties and friends
and normal events like childhood and travel
and sweet little white lies that innocently unravel
...
Yawn
...
Your tales are sweet
your performances are neat
but in order to claim the titles of 'odd'. 'strange' or 'weird'
you really have to ramp up the stakes
Weirdness is something you can't fake
My advice I hope you'll take
Otherwise I'll come after you and stab you with a rake
Susan the Obscure