Wonderings Emilie Collyer Wonderings Emilie Collyer

Empty paddock

The horse has gone

the bathtub too

The grass is long in the paddock

There is no shade there so I do not sit and contemplate the loss

I keep walking, my skin throbbing in the heat

while I grapple with the title of a poem

I have not yet written

about whether this need for fulfillment

can ever be sated

Did the horse die or did they just move it to greener pastures?

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Wonderings Emilie Collyer Wonderings Emilie Collyer

Whites so white

Who are the people who know how to

keep their whites white?

 

Angels come to teach us?

 

Or demons come to torment us?

 

I curse them as I toss out

yet another

yellow edged bra

 

If only they could teach me

my whole life would

be sweeter

 

And I could get caught

in accidentally

compromising

positions

 

without evidence

of sweat stains

age

and poor washing techniques

 

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Wonderings Emilie Collyer Wonderings Emilie Collyer

Is the horse lonely?

There is a horse in a paddock at the end of the street.

There is a bath tub with water in it for the horse to drink from.

When I visit the horse, it doesn't approach me,

but it does trot along beside me as I walk.

I guess it hopes that I have a carrot or a cube of sugar.

Those are the things that girls give horses in books I have read.

I was never a horsey girl.

This horse I like because it is always there and it is living in the middle of West Footscray, in a paddock surrounded by houses and factories and warehouses and it trots along beside me when I visit.

I have been away from home for nearly two weeks.

I did not tell the horse I was going away.

What do animals think when people they become accustomed to just stop showing up?

Do they feel hurt or get angry?

I imagine they are philosophical.

But I figure the horse must be philosophical in the first place to be at peace with living alone in a paddock surrounded by factories and houses, in the middle of an industrial suburb.

So I hope the gap left by my absence is not too severe.

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